Do you HAVE to put everything in your memoir? NO! In a nutshell, that’s the lesson from Kristy Noem’s memoir where she tells about shooting her young dog, plus a goat. Yes, farmers and other ruralites have dispatched unwanted, elder, or infirm animals, even pets, by shooting them. I have rural family history so I know about this. A bullet costs much less than a visit to the vet, no need to travel. (My current rural family would never think of shooting their own pets or the strays people dump their way.)

Many dogs like to chase down little animals (squirrels, rabbits, and yes, chickens), and that doesn’t mean you kill the dog. And if you try to take the “prey” away and/or the dog is overexcited by it, the dog might bite at you—be careful! One daughter has worked with coonhound rescue where volunteer private pilots fly these southern “misfit” dogs north to good homes—so hunters DON’T normally shoot dogs that aren’t good field companions. And you certainly don’t publicize the killing—really crass.

I won’t be reading the book, but Kristy Noem mentioned her dog killing to show she was a farmgirl who could make tough decisions, probably thinking her rural constituents would be impressed. As it turns out, people of all stripes were appalled, because rural conservatives love dogs, too. She must have really thought this shooting would appeal to “her people” and did not use any or enough beta readers (test readers). Seems like she shot her own self in the foot.

When you write your life stories, you judiciously pick and choose what’s important to tell. What belongs, what is the reason to include it. Think twice when including details that might be controversial or otherwise turn people off. Why did you or someone else do this? Back in the day, or in certain cultures, doing this “thing” was normal? (Think spanking, working the fields at age 5, or treating “those people” badly.) Maybe you were really stressed and not thinking straight? Mostly, is it THAT important to put it in your book? Some unpleasant actions or behavior really might be important to tell, but there are ways to gently explain, unless, of course, you WANT people to not like you.

Kristy Noem wrote to get votes. Her “hard decisions,” though, seem more like killing in anger or disgust. She could have chosen a less distasteful story to show she was tough or told the stories with a wee bit of heart or left them out so she wouldn’t come across as a vengeance killer of “man’s best friend” or of a billy goat just acting like the adult male goat it was (just neuter it!). And don’t throw in shooting your old pet horses to the mix! While her actions were of truth and culture, Noem was clueless in Wyoming.

PS: And blaming a ghost writer for including something you said and that YOU have the final say about including is so wrong.