Bad Day Memories

Posted on May 15, 2008 by moonbridgebooks

Some days are just bad. Maybe, heaven forbid, you even have one of those weeks full of one mishap after another. One annoyance can make your eyes roll, but when you have several, what does one do?! Are you the type who stomps their feet and yells, or are you able to roll with the punches. Well, of course, losing one’s temper makes for bad memories for all, to keep with the theme of this blog, but the way to turn a bad day into something pleasantly memorable (if only in hindsight!) is to practice anger management techniques and learn to keep things in perspective.

Today was difficult for me. After staying up very late working on accounting figures for my job, rising early to get my child ready for crossing-guard duties, and slogging through a difficult day at work, I was exhausted. Wanting to catch a cat nap while supper was simmering on the stove, I thought to feed the pets first. I then filled up the little bucket of water for the critters, and tried to set it back in place just beyond the dog bowl. Buddy popped his head up out of his food, knocking the bucket out of my hands, waterfall pouring onto the floor! I spent the next fifteen minutes on my hands and knees with soppy towels. No, I did not kick the poor dog, but kept all in perspective thinking I really needed to clean the floor anyway. Was I just beaten too far down that day to be mad? I think not. I’m just not one to make much fuss over spilled water…even a LOT of spilled water.

The day before, I had to take one of the cats in to the vet and, after searching all over the house to find her, could not cram her into the carrier without resultant emergency surgery. Tibby was still a bit nervous wearing a little harness and leash while I carried her into strange lands. As I walked into the reception area I felt warm wetness flowing down my side. Tibby was peeing…on me. Fortunately, she had not peed in my new car. Fortunately it was a short drive home to clean clothes. I figured I was sweaty from cleaning the house and could have used a change of clothes anyway.

When you’re having a bad day, instead of getting crabby, try shaking your head, remaining positive and thinking about what a good story you’ll have to tell at the dinner table that night.

Linda Austin
“Cherry Blossoms in Twilight”
http://www.moonbridgebooks.com
Posted in storytelling | 2 Comments

Scrapbooking Your Memories Minus Photos

Posted on May 8, 2008 by moonbridgebooks

May is National Scrapbook Month. While I love using rubber stamps to make greeting cards, I don’t do scrapbooking. But, my fearlessly creative Stampin’ Up leader, Julie, does knows a thing or two about scrapbooking and posted a great article in her May newsletter which is worth sharing with anyone interested in capturing memories through this fun art form.

Question: I get asked this question often. “How do you preserve the memories that slip by unrecorded but not unnoticed?”
Answer: We all have those moments, the precious memories that we missed capturing on film. Your batteries died just before cake time at Baby’s first birthday. The sun slipped behind the horizon just a minute too soon for that last special vacation picture. I’ve heard so many stories from my scrap bookers about that picture they missed. During my California trip for Leadership last January I had one of those moments. We were on our way to the Hollywood sign (Who can go to Hollywood and NOT go see the sign?) and we got caught in traffic. We finally made it to our “perfect vantage point” for the perfect “Me pointing at the Hollywood Sign picture” just as the sun set behind us. The view was spectacular, the picture – not so much! I was sad to miss out on a picture that I’ve waited a lifetime to take, and I was determined not to let that memory go unpreserved. Then an idea came to me, “I don’t have to have a picture to scrapbook a memory!”
I got out my papers and stamps, created one fantastic Hollywood themed layout and in the space where I would have mounted my pictures I got creative. I have a big blank space with “Hollywood Sign Photo Goes Here.” In one of the spaces I journaled about the experience – being caught in a traffic jam that only a Californian could appreciate, the pretty sun set, and the comical view of us jumping out of the car and rushing to snap a picture while we still had light. I used a postcard in one of the spots. It’s one of the best pages I’ve ever done. Having to think about ways to preserve the memory instead of relying on the pictures actually resulted in a page that takes me back to my vacation better than many of the pages full of pictures.

Preserve all the precious moments in your life; a scrapbook is about more than just pictures, it’s about the memories we want to share. You and your family will love looking back for years to come and reading the stories of your lives. If you were so excited about baby’s first steps, jumping up and down and clapping, that your pictures came out blurry (admit it we’ve all done it!) scrapbook that blurry picture and tell your story! Do you have a fond memory of the last special day you spent with someone before they passed away? Scrapbook about it – you didn’t know you would need pictures of that day, but you’ve got them in your head so share them in your book!

Next time you pull out the scrapbooking supplies, I challenge you to create a layout without pictures, or with pictures you thought were not worth using, and recapture one of your lost moments!

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The above was reprinted with permission from Julie Edmond’s May newsletter. Julie is a Stampin’ Up demonstrator (I’ve bought LOTS of rubber stamps and craft supplies from her). Find out more about the wonderful Stampin’ Up products, and learn how to be creative at her “inkredible stamping” blog .
Linda Austin
“Cherry Blossoms in Twilight”
http://www.moonbridgebooks.com
Posted in capturing memories, memory books, photos | 3 Comments

Family Secrets

Posted on May 2, 2008 by moonbridgebooks

I watched The Savages last week, expecting a touching story of adult children coping with their father’s end-of-life dementia. It was all of that, but what made the story even more deep and more poignant was that the father had been abusive to his children so that as adults they had no relationship with him. In the end we see the daughter has written and is staging a play about their twisted lives. This is a thoughtful (R-rated) movie.

On another front, writer Holly Silva recently reviewed Augusten Burrough’s latest family secrets memoir, A Wolf at the Table. Burroughs is currently famous for his Running With Scissors book. Brother John Robison has his own memoir, Look Me in the Eye. These two men have hung out all the dirty laundry!

Tell-all family exposes are not new and shocking anymore. The question for memoir writers is one of conscience: should one not write unpleasant things about their family at all, just mention minor offences, or go ahead and tell the darkest secrets. Should we at least wait until the “bad people” are dead? For those not interested in revenge or making money off the closet skeletons, this can be a delicate dance.

None of us is perfect, so it does not make sense to show only the best of people in family stories. When we see the quirks and foibles in others, we relate better to them; they become human. We can learn about culture and social history. We can see how behaviors and ways of thinking are passed down through generations. We learn from the mistakes and failures of others, which can actually be quite inspiring. The trouble comes when crime or various types of abuse are involved.

When we write our memoirs or family stories, we hope they will be passed on to future generations as a legacy. Our first thought may be to sugar-coat them, often out of respect for family, but maybe out of embarrassment. Our stories are personal, sometimes intensely personal, and when others read them we may have conflicting feelings of pride, awkward shyness, or sometimes downright horror at the sudden realization that other people now know our innermost thoughts!

In the end, each of us has to grapple with our own feelings about the level of dirt we want to show about our families. We must balance the desire to show the truth with a respect and understanding of the person and their situation. Will exposing abuse be helpful, or will it just be sensationalism. Will your relatives be upset? If the people you write about are still alive, will they sue you?!

There is a difference between personal diaries and stories meant to be shared. When working on memoir and family stories, write calmly and knowingly, round out stories with both good and bad aspects, share different points of view. Write as though you are speaking to strangers. Write with respect, because the way you present your stories is a reflection of you.

Linda Austin
“Cherry Blossoms in Twilight”
http://www.moonbridgebooks.com
Posted in bad memories, memoir writing | 1 Comment