Tips for Writing Your Memoir by Marion Woodfork Simmons

For this week’s post I have found a gem of an article on Kathy Hansen’s Personal Storytelling news paper.li (a story-telling news aggregator I follow). Marion Woodfork Simmons, of Woodfork Genealogy, has a gem of a blog post from June 24, Telling Your Story: Tips for Writing Your Memoir. I couldn’t have said it better, and I especially love the mention of preserving history along with the stories. Her blog is called Discovering Yesterday: Preserving the history of ordinary people.

Wishing everyone a happy family- and friend-filled July 4th! Be safe, keep cool.

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Recalling the past together

I skipped posting last week because I was busy having a great weekend with the family and then had to catch up on things like tons of laundry and some yard work and then it was Friday. For the first time in about twenty-five years I got to spend Father’s Day with my dad! That’s the penalty for living too far away. I’m such a family person I sometimes think I’m wasting my life living away from my closest relatives. My sister and I were dreaming of our husbands retiring and were debating what town we’d like move to together. Maybe somewhere in Colorado. Hmm, wildfires. Maybe not.

So anyway, we’re all sitting in a restaurant enjoying a Father’s Day lunch buffet and somehow talk turns to my dad and stepmom taking the train back to Chicago the next day so the other half of their vanful of relatives could leave for home that afternoon. Dad looked a little excited and said he hadn’t been in a train since his old army days in Japan. My sister and I corrected him, reminding him how he took us little girls on the train to Union Station Chicago long ago just for a lark one Sunday afternoon. Train memories! Whoo whoo.

Riding the train in Japan, late 1950s

This is just one of those instances where being together with family can jog memories. When you’re interviewing someone for their life story, it can really help to have another family member or two or even an old friend around to help ask questions and recall events. When you’re writing your own stories you may want to run them by a sibling to get their take on it. Two heads can be better than one—unless they’re arguing over details, in which case your opinion counts most.

I love talking to my sister about things that happened because often we each remember different sets of details and together we make a fuller picture. Funny, though…neither I nor my sister nor my dad could remember if my mom went with us on the train ride! I guess that means she stayed home. At least in my memoir.

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Dementia Care: Creating Moments of Joy

Last week Jolene Brackey was in town giving presentations revolving around her book, Creating Moments of Joy. Brackey switched careers from interior designer to interior life enhancer, so to speak. She found her calling as an activities director for Alzheimer patients and now as a speaker, consultant, and trainer to dementia caregivers. Her book is the result of years of learning what works to assist dementia patients in daily living and how to bring connections and joy to them.

Brackey gave a two-hour animated talk to a room full of relatives and friends of dementia patients. The audience ranged from those brand new to dementia and frightened to those like me who had years of learning the hard way. Oh, I wished I had Brackey’s book five years ago. She writes as an expert and friend, with short, easy to understand chapters full of examples—a style so important for those whose brains are stunned and confused by what dementia can bring (I’m talking about us caregivers!). Getting help like this can bring tears of relief.

On the bright side, Brackey was a whirling dynamo of advice, information, and anecdotes, who brought laughter and hope to her audience. One tidbit: “Stop correcting because you’ll make everyone’s life hell…If it’s not causing physical pain, leave it alone.” I think this works with teenagers, too.

Old hand that I am in Alzheimer’s care, I learned an exciting new way to bring joy to my mother. Brackey has a number of videos filled with gentle music and lovely scenes of nature or of families and children having fun that she said would soothe dementia patients as well as help them remember the beauty and happiness of life. Just talking and telling stories can be overwhelming or confusing to those deeper into dementia, but visions of life and familiar sounds can bring comfort and cheer.

Brackey told of the importance of sensory images in bringing back memories—sights of families enjoying picnics, sounds of running streams or birds or laughter, the taste of homemade chocolate chip cookies or lemon drops, the smell of cinnamon or their favorite perfume, the touch of fabric or a flower or a fishing bobber. In her book, she talks about simple pleasures, not family gatherings or lots of presents or busy outings, but things like pretty rocks, one flower, holding hands, a shoulder massage.

My mother can’t see well anymore, so family photos are useless. Using Brackey’s video idea, I’m going to make a video with the free Windows Movie Maker program on my pc (Macs have a version, too) of scanned still shots of old family photos. She’ll be able to see her sisters, 1950s Japan, her daughters as young children, her faraway daughter now, her unknown grown grandchildren as the babies she remembers. I’m really excited!

Jolene Brackey signed my copy of her book with this inscription:  “Linda, write down who they are – bring joy.” I didn’t tell Jolene that I already did write it down. That now I am the keeper of my mother’s stories, and she still likes to hear them.

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