Baptism by Toilet Water: a memoir of overcoming child abuse

A few days ago, I attended James F. Winter’s book talk and signing for Baptism by Toilet Water. This sounds like a humorous story, but it’s actually a memoir of abuse by an alcoholic dad whose parents were the epitome of Christian good-heartedness – and they lived next door. I’ve got to read how they handled listening to the yelling and seeing their grandchildren with bruises. Jim is no longer bitter, though, and this book is his journey away from anger, a memorial to his siblings who died too young, and a legacy for his own children, all behind a cover of a cute little boy with a wet curl on top of his head. Just a little disarming! Jim explained the title as referring to the ironic extremes of his upbringing.

Baptism by Toilet Water covers the complexities of love: love of children for a caring mother who was not strong enough to take her brood away from abuse, love of kind and generous grandparents who nevertheless had favorites, love bonding brothers and sisters through illness and death. Jim said he has heard from many people how the book helped move them through their own demons, and was especially touched by a woman able to break through the wall of suffering the loss of her child by reading the book. Interestingly, he said the two people who told him they did not like his book were suspected to be alcoholics who said he was too hard on the father! The book is from his perspective, he told them, not his father’s – always two sides of a story.

It took four years to write this book, and Jim interviewed his father’s successful and well-adapted brothers (one a historian who provided family documents and reviewed for historical accuracy) about their childhood and what they thought triggered his father’s behavior. Sadly, his grandparents, parents and all siblings but one had died by the time Jim began writing, so he didn’t have many people left to confer with. Reliving the past was difficult, but therapeutic, he said.

The company Jim used to publish was enthusiastic about his manuscript, but the editor insisted that the dark and gripping chapter 6 become chapter 1 to catch reader interest and hold it tightly. This meant Jim had to rework his whole manuscript! He was skeptical about the move and unsure of his ability to adapt the original work, but the editorwas adamant and encouraging. Jim did it, though, and readers have enjoyed how conversational and smooth the writing is. Not bad for someone who had neverwritten a book before.

After the first chapter, the story flashes back to “Humble Beginnings” and becomes chronological, with subheadings to introduce topics and events, all listed in the table of contents for easy reference. Included are details of childhood games from the 1960s. Hidden inthe middle of the book is a series of old photos, some in color, which did add to the price of the book, in case you wonder why it’s a little high for a slim paperback. Internal formatting, front and back covers are nicely done. A lovely touch is the inclusion of a couple poems his grandmother wrote.

One point of particular interest for memoir writers: There is a religious aspect to this story, but it is not prominent. Skimming through, I didn’t even notice any reference to religion. The final chapter, however, is very Christian, which can be off-putting to non-Christians, and even Christians uncomfortable with seeing their faith pushed. Personally, I would have used the last chapter as an afterword, or not at all. The second-to-last chapter actually ends very nicely with a “soft” message, although I see why Jim wanted a concluding chapter. Writers need to know who the audience is for their book. Is it only Christians? The back cover does say at the bottom “he comes to realize that Jesus Christ is illuminating the way through it all,” so hopefully readers will heed the warning sign. Feel free to leave your comments about this.

Linda Austin
“Cherry Blossoms in Twilight”
http://www.moonbridgebooks.com

Posted in bad memories, book talk | 6 Comments

NaNoWriMo for nonfiction

In case you haven’t heard the commotion, November is National Novel Writing Month, where thousands of writers around the world are working and worrying themselves to peck or scratch out 50,000 words of story by the end of the month. Winners are anyone who completes the mission. That doesn’t mean the story is done, just that you’ve got 50,000 words of it down. NaNoWriMo is considered by many to be a great motivation tool.

If you’re brave and persevering, you can join the NaNoWriMos but work on narrative nonfiction instead. Become a rebel and compete in NaNonFicWriMo (National Non-Fiction Writing Month) by working on your memoir or lifestories. Set aside time each day or so and try not to get behind – 50,000 words is approximately 1600 words or 5.5 double-spaced pages each day, for a final count of about 128 pages, which is considered a very short book. And just write – spit it out – because you’re only producing a first draft, not the real thing. That should take some of the pressure off. You can actually sign up for the challenge on the NaNoWriMo website and join the nonfiction subgroup.

I’ve got my goal for the month, but it involves a scraper and house paint.

Linda Austin
“Cherry Blossoms in Twilight”
http://www.moonbridgebooks.com

Posted in lifewriting, memoir writing | 5 Comments

An almost-memoir immigrant story, Girl in Translation

Jean Kwok was in St. Louis the other day to talk about her bestselling debut novel, Girl in Translation, recently released in paperback. In a personable style peppered with humor, she presented the true story behind the book, which is a horrifying immigrant tale of a mother and young daughter coming from China to a better life in the U.S. The “better” life turns out to be working in a sweatshop garment factory and living in a roach-infested tenement. Ms. Kwok related that her descriptions of the stifling hot factory, steam venting from pressing machines into a big concrete room with windows shut and blocked against prying eyes, fabric dust everywhere, and the trashed and beaten, bug-covered apartment were exactly as those her family worked and lived in. This was in the 1990s in New York. Jean went to the factory every day after school until she went off to college. Audience mouths fell open in shock. Fortunately, the young protagonist(Kimberly) – and Jean herself – were blessed with school smarts which helped them escape from poverty and the grinding slave work for pennies. As Kimberly comes of age, she must decide between two young men and the different paths they will take. Jean married a Dutchman and now lives in the Netherlands.

Jean wrote Girl in Translation for three reasons: to let others know what it is like to be an immigrant lost in a new country and language, to encourage others to look beyond the curtain of differences that separate them from immigrants, and to commemorate the struggle of her life and the lives of her mother and brother who worked so hard and held the family together. Jean’s older brother was also brilliant in school and pulled himself out of poverty through education. He saved his pennies to buy her the gift of a blank diary, which started her on the path of writing: “Whatever you write belongs to you,” he said to a little girl who had nothing. I asked Jean if she had considered writing her memoir versus a novel, and what made her decide to write her story as fiction. Her answer was one my own mother had to overcome:  she was ashamed of her rough early life. Jean laughed as she told us she thought she could hide behind the fiction, that no one would know she used her real life as a basis for the story. And maybe we would never have known except she had become rightfully proud of overcoming adversity. She also had a message for the world, particularly one for insular Americans, many of us having no clue what it’s like to be suddenly and permanently immersed in an alien culture where everyone is speaking apparent gibberish and impatient for you to understand. Add being trapped in poverty to that equation. Jean also knew she needed a good plot, and there was freedom in being able to deviate from the truth. A book that will sell well, and thus pass its message on to more people, must have a well-developed and entertaining storyline (Jean also praised her very critical editor). I can’t wait to read Jean’s book. The first chapter is great.

Posted in book talk, multicultural | 3 Comments