Grandparenting Time for Stories

One of the best parts of our recent vacation with my husband’s side of the family was the time the kids spent with their grandparents, whom they rarely see as they live a couple states away. Children grow up and get jobs far away from home so it can be difficult for grandparents and grandchildren to get to know each other. The times that are spent together therefore become more valuable.

The Life Writers’ Forum yahoo group I am a member of, moderated by Sharon Lippincott of The Heart and Craft of Lifestory Writing and Jerry Waxler of Memory Writers Network, has recently been sharing thoughts about that valuable time spent with grandkids. One way to bond with the kids is to tell them the stories of our youth as we go about the day. No special time or place or event required, as we do our daily chores we can talk about whatever old memories come up that relate to what we are doing or thinking. This does take some awareness as we are not so attuned to storytelling as people were in the past, but what fun it can be for everyone to share with a young audience the stories of “the old days.”

While our own kids may have been lucky enough to have heard our stories, they are probably not attuned to storytelling either, so it may be up to you to pass on the family history and the family stories to your children’s children. And while you’re at it, the grandkids would surely LOVE to hear about their parents when they were kids, especially those stories when their mom or dad was less than perfect!

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Family Vacation Memories

We have returned… exhausted! Our Alaskan cruise was not so relaxing for me. With my husband’s family and our kids in tow and not much time to discover the historic ports due to ship schedule and excursions, I often felt rushed and we were definitely not happy with the trouble we had with our flights to and from Vancouver. However, we all still had a good time and enjoyed being together as we rarely get the chance to do.

The key to a happy group vacation is to not make a point of sticking together. Our girls went off with their grandma to a dog sled camp and had a grand time petting puppies, marveling at the excitement and strength of the small mixed-breed dogs, and being pulled on a land sled (and getting mud spattered!). I am not shy about going off by myself to do things no one else is interested in. Some of us enjoyed shopping, some played the casino. We shared our stories at gourmet dinners while being pampered by the most friendly, impeccably mannered, multinational waiters.

I carried along a pocket-sized notebook to capture any thoughts, but ended up using it mostly for jotting down notes from the interesting cruise lectures, one on the Alaska pipeline and one given by an Alaska Native on his culture. I did purposefully stop several times in front of spectacular scenery to contemplate the wonder of nature and gather thoughts of what I was feeling at the moment, but decided that the many photos we were taking, sad second-hand images that they are compared to real life, would be enough to bring back memories and thoughts at more relaxed times. Marlys Styne in SeniorWriting, her short and encouraging book for beginning lifewriters, suggests looking at photos to stimulate the memory, which is an excellent tip for opening up nests of stories and feelings.

MS Movie Maker, available on newer pc computers, will help me make a movie clip with photos, music, and some digital camera video to bring our cruise back to life to be enjoyed again. (MACs have iMovie.) I’ll also add photos to the album of the first Alaskan cruise my husband and I took seven years ago (without kids). While I don’t scrapbook, per se, I have taken to using scrapbooking techniques in my photo albums, which is a great compromise for those of us without the time to do real scrapbooking.

The only important photo I didn’t take is one of Canadian money. My youngest daughter thought that getting Canadian change in Vancouver airport was one of the highlights of our trip. Go figure.

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Family Vacations

Despite the gas prices, wouldn’t it be nice to go even an hour away to get away from everyday life and have some family sharing time? I remember “the old days” when I was a kid and our family trapped itself in a non-air-conditioned car together (flying was unthinkable for most) and lived out of a little Starcraft pop-up camper, with my neat-nik mother constantly sweeping out the sand and dirt. Together-time can drive us crazy, but family vacation time is still a great way to get to know each other better — when all are away from the busyness of schedules and TV and videogames. Well, nowadays it is very difficult to totally get away from all that, but we can do our best.

My parents loved nature and so us children were encouraged to love nature also, which didn’t take much prompting. Our family could be found kneeling on a carpet of pine needles to examine a peculiar mushroom or searching through Field Guide to North American Birds for the name of that jay-type bird we spotted. Unfortunately, I grew up to be a wimpy hotel-loving mom, and perhaps that is why those memories are extra precious to me. I have done my noncamping best, however, to instill a love of nature in my kids, with mixed results.

Soon we will be cruising with extended family along the Inside Passage of Alaska as we have big anniversaries and a graduation to celebrate. We’ll be sharing excitement, history and nature and bonding generations through those shared experiences. Yes, we’re doing the family vacation in a much grander way than the old-time camping, but does it really matter how a family shares? My old memories of simple times shine so brightly through the haze of time.

Note: Consider keeping a journal during vacations, not just notes about what you did or saw but what you thought about. This might also help decipher the wheres and whens of photos as well as keep the events of days straight. I’ll be making a scrapbook of our Alaska trip.

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