Do you have strangers in your house? Many people do, and they don’t have the heart to throw them out. But what do you do with them? How long do you let them live with you?
My dad has some old photos of people he doesn’t know. My in-laws have a shoebox full of unlabeled photos from both sides of the family. These are black and white images of stern, unsmiling people unwilling to give up the mystery of their names. They are the strangers—in boxes, in inherited photo albums, in loose array inside an old trunk. A sense of guilt makes us keep them as we can’t bear to turn away old relatives or friends who once meant something to someone in our family. Often we save them until the next generation inherits them and in turn wonders what to do with them.
One method of dealing with these strangers is to take them to the next family gathering where older relatives will be. Someone may be able to identify a face or two. You can even scan some of them and attach them to emails sent to family, or copy them to CDs to mail out. Look carefully at the backgrounds, clothing, cars, signs and other items in the photos as you might be able to identify at least the place or era. Sometimes a little group study session with the family can result in discoveries.
Once you identify who is in a photo, be sure to write down in pencil on the back the name and anything else you know about the photo such as year taken, place, event, any meaning behind it. Store photos either in archival boxes or albums made of archival materials. Any photos that are especially meaningful to you should be copied, and you may want to share copies with other relatives. If you choose to display the photo, use the copy rather than the original which should be stored for safekeeping—fine dust or floating particles of oil from frying foods can get inside frames and erode the photo, while light from bright bulbs or sun can also cause damage.
If you or anyone in your family has one of those boxes of strangers, the time to try identifying them is now. Before it really becomes too late and you are left with a box of guilt to pass along to your children.
Recently we went to visit my Dad and stepmom and my sister and her family for a long weekend. My Dad and stepmom had arranged for my uncle and aunt to come for dinner one night and what a wonderful time we all had! The two brothers reminisced about their childhood together, comparing memories of growing up on a farm in what is now a crowded suburb of Chicago. They shared remembrances lost to the other, and learned new facts from my aunt who spent time chatting with their mother many weekends while the grown brothers worked on house repairs for her. My aunt, also of Dutch ancestry, turned out to be a treasure trove of memories, knew what questions to ask and even enlightened us about the facts of Dutch immigration to Chicago*. This two-hour session was videotaped and Dad will make DVD keepsakes for all of us kids.
I have before espoused the benefits of interviewing groups of people, especially siblings, because they feel more comfortable in front of a videocamera or tape recorder as a group and can get so involved in laughing and remembering they can easily forget to feel self-conscious with recording going on. We had never seen my normally quiet uncle open up so much! Siblings can also compare notes and they have their own experiences and their own perspectives, sometimes to the amazement of the other. It is fun to get the reactions on film. I highly recommend videotaping family stories at gatherings; not only do you get fascinating history, but fantastic fun, too!
*”Dutch Chicago” by Robert Swierenga is a comprehensive history of Dutch immigration in the Windy City
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