Spring Break and Teens

Posted on March 21, 2008 by moonbridgebooks

Tomorrow our almost 18-year-old daughter is driving our 13-year-old Honda down to the Florida panhandle for a week in what she thinks will be heaven. Tomorrow her mother begins to worry in earnest. “But, Mom,” she begged, “Lots of kids in my class are going on trips and some don’t even have chaperones!”

My husband and the rest of my family think I have lost my marbles for letting her go, but she is going in a group of only five girls who I know are relatively tame, one of the girls’ parents will be staying in the same condo building, and most importantly they will not be close enough to the dreaded Panama City to want to visit (MTV is there so it will be party city). I do have some faith in my fairly level-headed daughter, but I have also drilled into her head all the horror stories I have ever heard about spring break and have given her all the advice I know of to stay safe. And she’ll be carrying a AAA card in case of auto problems.

All parents have to face that dreaded day when their child turns 18 and expects freedom. My mother would tell my sister and I when we were teens that we were like baby birds wanting to fly, but we just weren’t ready yet and still needed our mother. Now I am the mother bird, hovering and chirping as one of her babies leaves the nest to venture out on its own.

My daughter is very excited about this big trip without her parents, hoping for wonderful memories of friendship and freedom (and shopping) to tide her through the rest of her senior year which seems to drag on and on as she waits for the milestones of graduation and college. My chick is ready to go!

Buk, buk, buk, bukuck! Happy Easter!

Linda Austin
“Cherry Blossoms in Twilight”
http://www.moonbridgebooks.com
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A Memorial

Posted on March 14, 2008 by moonbridgebooks

This week I attended a small luncheon in memory of my friend Mrs. B., who finally succumbed to the pains and troubles of this life and is now free at last. Her daughter regaled us with tales of her mother’s colorful, free-spirited ways and independent nature which surprised several of us who only knew her as a conservative elderly woman. We laughed and shed tears, reminiscing about this sweet lady we all loved, one who enjoyed dressing up her Easter hats with vegetables or birds.

One of the most amazing stories we heard was of her equally colorful daughter who as a 7-year-old insisted to a friend that she could drive. The car started and rolled backwards into a steep ravine with a creek at the bottom. Fortunately the daughter safely jumped out of the moving car before it went down the embankment. Lying in bed terrified, pretending to be asleep when her mother returned home later that evening, she heard her mother screaming after her babysitting sons told her what had happened. Then she went to her daughter’s room and calmly told her that she knew she was pretending to be asleep and that she loved her very much. But tomorrow, she told her, she would be very angry. And she was.

I miss my friend, but I’m glad she is at rest. And I have new memories of her now that make me smile.

Linda Austin
“Cherry Blossoms in Twilight”
http://www.moonbridgebooks.com
Posted in death, memories | 3 Comments

Relating to Your Teen

Posted on March 7, 2008 by moonbridgebooks

Last week I accompanied my daughter to Purdue University for a program for prospective students. While I didn’t look forward to the 4 ½ hour drive each way, I knew this would be a nice opportunity to spend rare mother-daughter time with my busy teen. We chatted about her friends, college choices and my own reminiscences about college days until I dozed off as my daughter drove through bleak winter farmlands asleep under a gray blanket of clouds. We arrived in time to grab Panera salads and rush back to the hotel room to watch the Oscars, lounging on plush beds, crunching croutons and commenting on pretty dresses and what we thought of the nominated movies. It was great spending casual time together.

Early in the unaccustomed eastern time zone, we dragged ourselves out of bed to experience the university together and have an amazing varied lunch spread at one of the school cafeterias—no limited choice of mush as in my day! After perusing some fun local shops, we headed home in darkening rain, taking turns driving and sleeping.

I’m afraid this was one of the few times I have left to spend with my nearly grown daughter before she leaves me for the difficulties and excitement of college life. I tried to make the most of it, appreciating the delight of sharing her life for a couple days despite occasional teen moments of irritation. I gave her my full attention and tried to listen without judging or thinking ahead about what to say or disagree with. I asked questions, we listened to her music CDs in the car, I tried not to be the parental unit for a change. We had a more grown-up relationship that was quite refreshing.

This week I came across a great article on becoming a better listener posted on the (not-so-) Dumb Little Man website. It is recommended reading for everyone, not just for business or for husband/wife relationships, but for parents and kids, too. The listening tips will go a long way towards a better relationship with your teen, letting him or her feel valued and more at ease in confiding and sharing their life. You’ll be modeling great relationship skills that hopefully your child will pick up on, too. We all want good memories of times spent with our teens.

http://www.dumblittleman.com/2008/03/becoming-better-listener.html

Linda Austin
“Cherry Blossoms in Twilight”
http://www.moonbridgebooks.com
Posted in living with teens | 1 Comment