Videotaping Family Stories with Siblings

Recently we went to visit my Dad and stepmom and my sister and her family for a long weekend. My Dad and stepmom had arranged for my uncle and aunt to come for dinner one night and what a wonderful time we all had! The two brothers reminisced about their childhood together, comparing memories of growing up on a farm in what is now a crowded suburb of Chicago. They shared remembrances lost to the other, and learned new facts from my aunt who spent time chatting with their mother many weekends while the grown brothers worked on house repairs for her. My aunt, also of Dutch ancestry, turned out to be a treasure trove of memories, knew what questions to ask and even enlightened us about the facts of Dutch immigration to Chicago*. This two-hour session was videotaped and Dad will make DVD keepsakes for all of us kids.

I have before espoused the benefits of interviewing groups of people, especially siblings, because they feel more comfortable in front of a videocamera or tape recorder as a group and can get so involved in laughing and remembering they can easily forget to feel self-conscious with recording going on. We had never seen my normally quiet uncle open up so much! Siblings can also compare notes and they have their own experiences and their own perspectives, sometimes to the amazement of the other. It is fun to get the reactions on film. I highly recommend videotaping family stories at gatherings; not only do you get fascinating history, but fantastic fun, too!

*”Dutch Chicago” by Robert Swierenga is a comprehensive history of Dutch immigration in the Windy City

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Spring Break and Teens

Tomorrow our almost 18-year-old daughter is driving our 13-year-old Honda down to the Florida panhandle for a week in what she thinks will be heaven. Tomorrow her mother begins to worry in earnest. “But, Mom,” she begged, “Lots of kids in my class are going on trips and some don’t even have chaperones!”

My husband and the rest of my family think I have lost my marbles for letting her go, but she is going in a group of only five girls who I know are relatively tame, one of the girls’ parents will be staying in the same condo building, and most importantly they will not be close enough to the dreaded Panama City to want to visit (MTV is there so it will be party city). I do have some faith in my fairly level-headed daughter, but I have also drilled into her head all the horror stories I have ever heard about spring break and have given her all the advice I know of to stay safe. And she’ll be carrying a AAA card in case of auto problems.

All parents have to face that dreaded day when their child turns 18 and expects freedom. My mother would tell my sister and I when we were teens that we were like baby birds wanting to fly, but we just weren’t ready yet and still needed our mother. Now I am the mother bird, hovering and chirping as one of her babies leaves the nest to venture out on its own.

My daughter is very excited about this big trip without her parents, hoping for wonderful memories of friendship and freedom (and shopping) to tide her through the rest of her senior year which seems to drag on and on as she waits for the milestones of graduation and college. My chick is ready to go!

Buk, buk, buk, bukuck! Happy Easter!

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A Memorial

This week I attended a small luncheon in memory of my friend Mrs. B., who finally succumbed to the pains and troubles of this life and is now free at last. Her daughter regaled us with tales of her mother’s colorful, free-spirited ways and independent nature which surprised several of us who only knew her as a conservative elderly woman. We laughed and shed tears, reminiscing about this sweet lady we all loved, one who enjoyed dressing up her Easter hats with vegetables or birds.

One of the most amazing stories we heard was of her equally colorful daughter who as a 7-year-old insisted to a friend that she could drive. The car started and rolled backwards into a steep ravine with a creek at the bottom. Fortunately the daughter safely jumped out of the moving car before it went down the embankment. Lying in bed terrified, pretending to be asleep when her mother returned home later that evening, she heard her mother screaming after her babysitting sons told her what had happened. Then she went to her daughter’s room and calmly told her that she knew she was pretending to be asleep and that she loved her very much. But tomorrow, she told her, she would be very angry. And she was.

I miss my friend, but I’m glad she is at rest. And I have new memories of her now that make me smile.

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