A Memorial

Posted on March 14, 2008 by moonbridgebooks

This week I attended a small luncheon in memory of my friend Mrs. B., who finally succumbed to the pains and troubles of this life and is now free at last. Her daughter regaled us with tales of her mother’s colorful, free-spirited ways and independent nature which surprised several of us who only knew her as a conservative elderly woman. We laughed and shed tears, reminiscing about this sweet lady we all loved, one who enjoyed dressing up her Easter hats with vegetables or birds.

One of the most amazing stories we heard was of her equally colorful daughter who as a 7-year-old insisted to a friend that she could drive. The car started and rolled backwards into a steep ravine with a creek at the bottom. Fortunately the daughter safely jumped out of the moving car before it went down the embankment. Lying in bed terrified, pretending to be asleep when her mother returned home later that evening, she heard her mother screaming after her babysitting sons told her what had happened. Then she went to her daughter’s room and calmly told her that she knew she was pretending to be asleep and that she loved her very much. But tomorrow, she told her, she would be very angry. And she was.

I miss my friend, but I’m glad she is at rest. And I have new memories of her now that make me smile.

Linda Austin
“Cherry Blossoms in Twilight”
http://www.moonbridgebooks.com
Posted in death, memories | 3 Comments

Relating to Your Teen

Posted on March 7, 2008 by moonbridgebooks

Last week I accompanied my daughter to Purdue University for a program for prospective students. While I didn’t look forward to the 4 ½ hour drive each way, I knew this would be a nice opportunity to spend rare mother-daughter time with my busy teen. We chatted about her friends, college choices and my own reminiscences about college days until I dozed off as my daughter drove through bleak winter farmlands asleep under a gray blanket of clouds. We arrived in time to grab Panera salads and rush back to the hotel room to watch the Oscars, lounging on plush beds, crunching croutons and commenting on pretty dresses and what we thought of the nominated movies. It was great spending casual time together.

Early in the unaccustomed eastern time zone, we dragged ourselves out of bed to experience the university together and have an amazing varied lunch spread at one of the school cafeterias—no limited choice of mush as in my day! After perusing some fun local shops, we headed home in darkening rain, taking turns driving and sleeping.

I’m afraid this was one of the few times I have left to spend with my nearly grown daughter before she leaves me for the difficulties and excitement of college life. I tried to make the most of it, appreciating the delight of sharing her life for a couple days despite occasional teen moments of irritation. I gave her my full attention and tried to listen without judging or thinking ahead about what to say or disagree with. I asked questions, we listened to her music CDs in the car, I tried not to be the parental unit for a change. We had a more grown-up relationship that was quite refreshing.

This week I came across a great article on becoming a better listener posted on the (not-so-) Dumb Little Man website. It is recommended reading for everyone, not just for business or for husband/wife relationships, but for parents and kids, too. The listening tips will go a long way towards a better relationship with your teen, letting him or her feel valued and more at ease in confiding and sharing their life. You’ll be modeling great relationship skills that hopefully your child will pick up on, too. We all want good memories of times spent with our teens.

http://www.dumblittleman.com/2008/03/becoming-better-listener.html

Linda Austin
“Cherry Blossoms in Twilight”
http://www.moonbridgebooks.com
Posted in living with teens | 1 Comment

Grandma’s Hands

Posted on March 1, 2008 by moonbridgebooks

My sister-in-law sent me an email making the rounds in cyberspace. It’s called Grandma’s Hands and reminded me of my own mother’s hands. At 82-years-old, her hands are gnarled from arthritis, thin and wrinkled with age. It is difficult for her to accept that her body is not what it used to be and she regularly examines her hands, saying “Look how ugly they are.” I tell her they are beautiful.

“These hands are the mark of where I’ve been…”

Her hands have been places and worked hard—far away, working to help her parents survive through WWII; selflessly raising two children and taking care of house and husband; painfully sewing all day to support her after a divorce.

“But more importantly it will be these hands that God will reach out and take when he leads me home.”

She is in her twilight days now. Her hands speak of a long life and many memories. They are her history, but they have left their mark on my life. Someday, my hands will be her hands. I hope I find them to be beautiful.

Linda Austin
“Cherry Blossoms in Twilight”
http://www.moonbridgebooks.com
Posted in grandparents | 1 Comment