Generations changing holiday traditions

This November my sister and I and our families met up for early Thanksgiving, traveling to my older daughter’s home in Pennsylvania. Our three grown children decided to cook for us parents – we were not to help. They were not particularly interested in what we thought about for menu choices and I was disappointed that some of those choices were not my traditions. Did my daughters become someone else’s daughters?

I was particularly shocked at the kids’ choice to have box stuffing—sacrilege! No stuffed turkey with the homemade stuffing I loved to make? They did acquiesce to adding chopped apple, from one I took from our hotel’s breakfast buffet. The sweet potatoes were baked, not candied like my mother-in-law’s passed-down family recipe. The green bean casserole featured steamed fresh beans, not canned. We had cheddar-apple pie and a cranberry tart from a recipe popped up in a Facebook feed. They did allow me to make my cranberry-orange sauce, but I soon realized (with my sister’s help) that I should just be quiet and let our children cook and serve the way THEY wanted to.

Our dinner was perfect. Perfectly delicious. And the fact that we were all together chatting and laughing was the greatest Thanksgiving. Traditions are wonderful, but rigid obedience is not. The younger generation have minds of their own, not bound by our reins, and that’s okay. I will be cooking a mini version of my “proper” Thanksgiving meal on the real Thanksgiving Day, but I do plan to bake the sweet potatoes this time instead of candying.

Whitney Fleming writes on a Facebook page I follow, as well her blog, about her relationships and life lessons learned from raising her children. She posted on FB:

“Feel the feel with your teens and young adults this holiday season. Then take the wheel and put your energy into creating moments you can enjoy instead of stewing about how things have changed.”

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What to do with old family movies, slides, and all those print photos

I spent some time at our county library the other day getting a VHS cassette of clips of my kids’ childhood digitized to an .mp4 file stored on a flash drive I brought along. Two libraries near me have equipment that digitizes old home movies in various formats, audio recordings, and slides, negatives and print photos—for free! Check to see if a library near you does this. The county library branch lets anyone come in to use their equipment during a pre-registered time slot, with staff providing instructions and help. The other library is independent and requires a library card to pre-register to drop off items that their staff will digitize and then notify when ready for pickup. Imagine that! Check with your libraries to see what services they offer these days—you might be amazed.

If you have a lot of video to digitize, you could buy a digitizer that hooks up to a VCR/DVD player. The county library uses ClearClick converters which can be bought online for about $200. The library has Wolverine converters to handle slides, negatives, and 35mm film fed through and saved one image at a time. I don’t know what is used to save audio, especially what’s on old audio cassettes. I have some CDs holding interviews with long-deceased immigrant relatives but my old computer has a CD drive so I could pull the files off that. Most computers these days do not have CD drives.

Some—or a lot—of us have carousels of slides I’d advise at least holding them up to a bright light and weeding out bad, faded, or unflattering shots, duplicates, and ones that don’t seem that important anymore. Save ones with meaningful people in them versus flowers and scenery you can otherwise find in an online search. Same with old print photos from pre-digital camera days.

To digitize print photos, all you need to do is take good photos of them with your cell phone! Crop the images, straighten them, fix the lighting—using your cell phone. Then connect your phone to a computer to download the images and organize them into folders, like by year or subject, or save to the Cloud.

With antique photos, once digitized and moved onto a computer, you can use programs already on your computer to fix them up further. I just open a photo and use Edit to fix lighting, increase color saturation or contrast, or turn a photo into black and white. Black and white can mask bad lighting and make faded photos look clearer, increase contrast as needed.

For even more photo fixes, opening in Paint (right click on the photo and choose) allows you to use an eyedropper icon (color picker tool) and a “brush” type (I use watercolor) to fix discolorations and remove those white spots common on old prints. Click on the eyedropper, click on a brush type, then move the eyedropper near to a discolored area, click in the area to pick up the correct color and then “brush” over the discoloration. Adjust the brush size with a slide bar on the left edge of the photo image. You can magnify the image for detail work with a slide bar at the bottom. I’ve even managed to remove fold marks going across a photo. You may need to mottle an area of foliage using different shades.

Technology is on your side now to make digitizing easier, so hope you didn’t throw out your old home movies or slides thinking they were lost to old formats or too expensive to send off to save to modern formats.

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Writing a Children’s Book For Your Kids (or Grandkids) to Capture Their Childhood

Yesterday I attended our local writer’s guild meeting to hear about writing for kids. Ryan Nusbickel had the most delightful young children’s books – fun and funny in text and his own illustrations – and the stories were set in our city! All the special things in St. Louis, from toasted raviolis and gooey butter cake, to our jokes to get a Halloween treat and more! I learned there are people in our country who do not know we have a Gateway Arch – or even know what that is! Anyway, dad Ryan wrote these stories for his kids, and based on his own family experiences. What treats for his kids and everyone else’s around here!

Maybe you can write fun stories about your family life. I see my Facebook friends posting the darndest things their kids or grandkids say and do. Things that should be remembered and immortalized as they are so funny or so clever. You don’t have to be a great artist to draw some pictures to go along. Kid books can have kid-like art. Have a go at it! Maybe you even have art by your kids that relates to stories. The stories can be short, just a funny sentence or a few lines. I should make a page of my kid as a tot singing “Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Barbie tells me so.” Or startling me as she sat in the bathtub bubbles and sang “Achy Breaky Heart” learned at her Alabama day care.

Plenty of meeting attendees bought Ryan’s books. Having no kids left in my house, or any grandkids expected, I bought his more parental-unit oriented book that made me laugh out loud. How could I resist his collection of dad haiku! (Not really haiku but one sentence broken into 3 lines of the 5-7-5 syllable style, but I didn’t want to tell him that and spoil any fun.)

Check out Ryan’s website at http://www.nusbickelbooks.com/ to get some ideas—and even buy a book, especially if you have St. Louis area roots.

Posted in book talk, capturing memories, grandparents, lifewriting, raising kids, storytelling | Tagged , | Leave a comment