La Dia de los Muertos – don’t let the memories die

Posted on October 29, 2012 by moonbridgebooks

Saturday evening I went to a Dia de los Muertos celebration to see what it was about. The Day of the Dead is an important Mexican holiday held the first two days of November to honor the dead. This one featured poets and musicians gathering not only to remember their dead family and friends but to perform and to raise money from a silent auction and raffle to hold slam poetry workshops in the city schools. I watched some very cool spoken-word poets do their stuff and heard an “earth rhythms” healing drum circle. And, I saw the most wonderful ofrenda, the traditional altar of offerings for the dead.

BJC Hospice sponsored the altar and a local poet of Mexican heritage created it with a few volunteers from the hospice program. I picked up one of her flyers thoroughly explaining Day of the Dead and was impressed by this beautiful, symbolic and cheerful tradition. It is based on the Aztec belief of three deaths: when the heart stops, when the body is buried, and when no one is left to remember. The festival is “a reminder of our inevitable mortality” and of the “lasting power” to remain alive as memories in the hearts and minds of the living.

As a lifewriting proponent, I was struck by the truth of that statement, that we have the power to remain alive through memories others hold of us. That is why I encourage everyone to write their lives or that of their elders, because writing lasts longer than one person’s memories. Especially important when you live in a culture that no longer even thinks to tell our stories. How can we be fully fleshed if others see only our present tenses. How will we remain alive if we don’t tell our stories?

I like a few other traditions and beliefs of the Day of the Dead. Butterflies, particularly Monarchs which pass through Mexico around the time of the festival, are believed to carry the spirits of the dead to the otherworld and to guide them back to the living to be annually honored. Candy skulls and smiling skeletons, often dancing or playing instruments, represent “an afterlife that is joyful and active.” Lighting of a candle is an intentional way to “ignite the memories of our loved ones.” There is incense, lots of chrysanthemums and marigolds (the flower of the dead), water and soft Mexican bread offerings, and photos of the dead. The altar is a beautiful display of love and respect. And the grinning skeletons remind us that our beloveds are happy somewhere out there.

 

my little “catrin”

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When legends die – false family history

Posted on October 21, 2012 by moonbridgebooks

Judy Bolton-Fasman wrote an intriguing op-ed for the New York Times relating her family history stories to Massachusetts Senate hopeful Elizabeth Warren’s claims of American Indian heritage. (Thanks to online memoir-writer friend Gene Bodzin for this.) Bolton-Fasman, in All My Mother’s Stories, says Warren’s ads countering opponent Scott Brown’s questions say, “What kid asks her mother for documentation?”

In her op-ed piece, Bolton-Fasman says her own mother lied about parts of her past. When Bolton-Fasman discovered this, she then questioned the family history of royalty her mother had passed on to her. She never did any genealogical research, though—why bother, she thinks, the point is that the family believed this for generations and therefore their lives were shaped by it. She thinks the details of Warren’s family history don’t matter either:  “It’s a family legend that has inspired her to identify with the dispossessed and work on behalf of the marginalized.”

As a proponent of lifewriting and memoir, I agree with this to a point. Family history can shape descendants’ perspectives of who they are, even if parts of the history later become exposed as legend. It would be quite sad if you were proud to be descended from an Indian tribe and discovered you were not. Maybe it would affect your love of attending Indian tribal gatherings or collecting Indian jewelry, but maybe it would not. The question is what do you do with knowledge of the truth?

I think genealogy fans would argue the truth should be dug up and verified if possible. It would be wrong to blindly or, worse, deliberately pass along falsehoods. As a lifewriter, I would argue the legends should be included in the family history not only as a point of interest but because legends can shape beliefs and values. Also of interest is the family reaction when beliefs are found to be untrue.

And now for a personal story. My sister and I long treasured a photo of a round-faced, big-eyed little Japanese girl standing barefoot, captured in a black-and-white studio photo. It is one of only two childhood photos of our mother. Except it is not. Several years ago, before dementia had a firm hold on her, my mother said, no, it was of her older sister. I think my sister and I are still crushed by that. I know I’m still clinging to the hope she is wrong.

Not my mother

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Poetry is memoir, too

Posted on October 14, 2012 by moonbridgebooks

Poetry doesn’t seem at all popular to the general reading public these days yet I know many people write it. The Twitter world is filled with writers of sparse Japanese-style poems like haiku and tanka, perfect for 140-character posts – see @CoyoteSings for one of the best Twitter poets. Some of these writers have websites devoted to their work. Poetry just doesn’t sell so there are no books on the NYT bestseller list or modern-day poets whose names are familiar, with perhaps the exception of Maya Angelou who is more well-known for her other work anyway.

Today, though, I find through my Google Alert that a poetry book by a New York City television anchorwoman, Francesca Maxime, is being released soon through NYQ Books, the indie publishing arm of the New York Quarterly poetry magazine (go NYQ!). Ms. Maxime’s book it titled Rooted:  A Verse Memoir. It speaks of childhood abuse, loss, dreams, and moving on.

As I mentioned in last week’s post, I think much of poetry is actually a type of life writing. A poet puts experience on paper using a few well-appointed words arranged rhythmically. Poetry is passionate, deeply-felt. It is highly edited story, stripped to its core. I find it more than a little sad that few want to read it. I also think we live in a fast-forward, short-attention-span society that doesn’t want to stop and hear something that “comes packaged in silence,” as Walter Bargen, first poet laureate of Missouri describes poetry.

Walter Bargen has written a kind of memoir in poetry, too, called Endearing Ruins, published in Germany and including both English and German translations. I have a signed copy. Bargen recalls growing up in post-WWII Germany and playing in the ruins of war, hearing the war stories of his relatives. It is a touching book filled with silent spaces awaiting the thoughts of readers.

Next week I hope to announce the release of a poetry book of my own experiences that include the life moments of others. Stay tuned. Don’t be afraid to include poetry in your own life writings.

Posted in capturing memories, poems | Tagged | 1 Comment