Dementia Care: Creating Moments of Joy

Last week Jolene Brackey was in town giving presentations revolving around her book, Creating Moments of Joy. Brackey switched careers from interior designer to interior life enhancer, so to speak. She found her calling as an activities director for Alzheimer patients and now as a speaker, consultant, and trainer to dementia caregivers. Her book is the result of years of learning what works to assist dementia patients in daily living and how to bring connections and joy to them.

Brackey gave a two-hour animated talk to a room full of relatives and friends of dementia patients. The audience ranged from those brand new to dementia and frightened to those like me who had years of learning the hard way. Oh, I wished I had Brackey’s book five years ago. She writes as an expert and friend, with short, easy to understand chapters full of examples—a style so important for those whose brains are stunned and confused by what dementia can bring (I’m talking about us caregivers!). Getting help like this can bring tears of relief.

On the bright side, Brackey was a whirling dynamo of advice, information, and anecdotes, who brought laughter and hope to her audience. One tidbit: “Stop correcting because you’ll make everyone’s life hell…If it’s not causing physical pain, leave it alone.” I think this works with teenagers, too.

Old hand that I am in Alzheimer’s care, I learned an exciting new way to bring joy to my mother. Brackey has a number of videos filled with gentle music and lovely scenes of nature or of families and children having fun that she said would soothe dementia patients as well as help them remember the beauty and happiness of life. Just talking and telling stories can be overwhelming or confusing to those deeper into dementia, but visions of life and familiar sounds can bring comfort and cheer.

Brackey told of the importance of sensory images in bringing back memories—sights of families enjoying picnics, sounds of running streams or birds or laughter, the taste of homemade chocolate chip cookies or lemon drops, the smell of cinnamon or their favorite perfume, the touch of fabric or a flower or a fishing bobber. In her book, she talks about simple pleasures, not family gatherings or lots of presents or busy outings, but things like pretty rocks, one flower, holding hands, a shoulder massage.

My mother can’t see well anymore, so family photos are useless. Using Brackey’s video idea, I’m going to make a video with the free Windows Movie Maker program on my pc (Macs have a version, too) of scanned still shots of old family photos. She’ll be able to see her sisters, 1950s Japan, her daughters as young children, her faraway daughter now, her unknown grown grandchildren as the babies she remembers. I’m really excited!

Jolene Brackey signed my copy of her book with this inscription:  “Linda, write down who they are – bring joy.” I didn’t tell Jolene that I already did write it down. That now I am the keeper of my mother’s stories, and she still likes to hear them.

Posted in aging, book reviews | 5 Comments

In memory of frogs, toads, and tadpoles

When I was a girl, we lived near a neighborhood house with a murky, muck-bottomed pond in the backyard. In those days nobody thought about insurance liability and suing, so this pond was a kid magnet. Boys and girls alike would wad soft white bread or squeeze American cheese slices into balls that we molded onto fish hooks, tossing the bobbered lines into the brown water, hopefully avoiding seaweed or cattails. We caught black bullheads (sleek, dark, whiskered catfish), bluegills and the occasional sunfish or crappie, and usually let them go. Sometimes we saw pudgy black tadpoles wobbling in the shallows.

Since my parents had built a little Japanese-style fish pond in our backyard, my sister and I could bring home tadpoles, frogs, minnows, and young bluegills as pets. Toads lived in our yard anyway. When our family went on vacation, often camping in Wisconsin or Michigan, my sister and I would catch critters and haul them home in jars. As members of a private campground with a good-sized lake created from coal mining, we’d go camping on summer weekends and catch creatures there to bring home. We were young biologists and masters at capturing our pets.

Last weekend my sister and I and our eldest girls were wading in my dad’s small lake looking for tadpoles. Dad said he’d seen black clouds of them a few days before, so the girls were excited, but pollywogs were nowhere in sight that day. Instead, we had to use hawk eyes to watch for rare grey dots squiggling among fronds of seaweed. I was very proud to watch my daughter scoop up a couple under the tutelage of my sister.

Dad was standing close by on the beach watching, and I wondered if he felt the same joy I did at remembering the old days of his girls on the prowl, imagining our big girls as his little dark-haired hunters. He and my mom gave us our love of nature, and we hope we’ve passed it on to our children. We know that the joy of catching tadpoles is something never outgrown.

I hope others have enjoyed the thrill of catching tadpoles, frogs, or toads. Do you have any memories of catching little creatures?  For those who don’t know, if you ever do catch a toad, use two fingers to hold him carefully behind the front legs until he “pees.” He won’t give you warts, but wash your hands after you let him go.

Posted in memories, writing prompt | 3 Comments

Cherry Blossoms e-book free until midnight June 1

Oops, sorry – gomenasai! I forgot to let you know that the Cherry Blossoms in Twilight e-book version was free yesterday and until midnight tonight, Friday, June 1. Amazon time, whatever that is, probably Pacific.  I’m testing out the Amazon Kindle publishing option to have free download days as a promotional tactic. One object of this, I believe, is to get reviews, so if you like the e-book version, please Like it on Amazon or leave a review – I won’t be offended if it is not 5-stars. Unfortunately, the e-book does not have the cute illustrations, the children’s songs, or the photos because they didn’t lend themselves to e-book formatting very well.

You don’t need a Kindle to read e-books from the Amazon site. I purchase with the Buy Now button, download for pc, and read the e-books on my laptop. You can download for other e-readers, too, but not for Nook. Thank you to anyone who downloads a freebie. Hope you like it!

PS: May was Asian Pacific American Month

Posted in Cherry Blossoms in Twilight | 1 Comment