Holiday storytelling, the talking turkey

The holidays are a perfect time for storytelling. Family gathered, lounging about with full bellies. A member of the Yahoo group Lifewritersforum posted an idea for a family game involving family stories. Each person writes on a small scrap of paper a hint about a story they know about someone in the family (ex. the giant spider in England, or she broke her arm flying off the swings). Put the papers in a container and take turns drawing them out and reading them. Guess who the story is about, that person then tells their story – with help if needed. This works best with larger gatherings, especially intergenerational or blended families.

I’ve been writing down the childhood stories of an 88-year-old friend who was orphaned at age 13. She, along with her then 16-year-old brother, somehow took care of their house and three little brothers during the Depression. Following is a story she told me, perfect for Thanksgiving:

One day in November, the theater had a raffle for a turkey. I took the boys to a movie and afterwards the manager came out to the front of the stage and announced that I had won the turkey! He said to go around the back to pick it up. When I got to the back of the theater, there was a box with a screen on top, and inside was a live turkey. What was I going to do with a live turkey?!

The manager said he couldn’t help me carry the turkey home, but he would tie up its legs. He said I could hold the turkey upside down by the legs and it would flap its wings, but I could carry it home that way. Oh, it squawked and flapped! We had to go across a stream on my way home. There were two logs laid across that stream and I had to balance across them with that turkey. Somehow I made it and got home all right. We tied the turkey by its leg to a post and it stayed there a couple days, not very happy. We didn’t really know what to do with it. Then my older brother got out the ax to kill it for Thanksgiving dinner, but every time he raised that axe the turkey cried, “Look out, look out!” It was like it was talking! “Look out, look out!” It kept saying that every time he raised the axe. “Look out, look out!” We were so upset. My brother just couldn’t kill it. I was crying. My little brothers were crying, “Let’s don’t eat turkey!”

Our neighbor next door came over to see what all the noise was about. He took care of it. He told us to go away because he didn’t want us to see what he was going to do. His wife made most of the Thanksgiving dinner for us and brought it over. My littlest brother was very upset about that turkey so I had to explain to him how God made turkeys and chickens for us to eat. He didn’t care about that and refused to eat the turkey. I ate some, but it bothered me to think of the poor thing. It was a Thanksgiving I’ll never forget.


(not all turkeys
come like this)
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You’re not a writer? So what.

Many people are afraid to write down their lifestories because they have no training in writing, which usually translates to feeling they have no talent in that area. Does it matter if you have no talent in writing? Only if you want to be published and make money from your story. For most people, their families and friends will be reading their stories – if they ever get written – and people who love you won’t care if you are not a polished writer. You may find that as you work on your stories a lot of passion comes forth and that will show up in your writing. After all, your stories are an intimate part of you, obviously things that made enough of an impression to remain in your memory. Passion is what will lift your life stories above the earthly realm of dry dirt facts. For those who are perfectionists, read on.

The Huffington Post (among many other news media) recently interviewed bestselling memoirist Mary Karr (Liar’s Club, Cherry, Lit). HuffPo asked Karr, “Do you think quality writing can be taught?” Karr responded, “Absolutely… when I went to graduate school I would’ve said I was among the least talented of the students, I was certainly the least smart, or less educated. But I worked very hard… I rewrite, and rethink and reconsider.”

Geoff Colvin, senior editor of Fortune Magazine, has a new book out called Talent is Over-rated: What Really Separates World Class Performers From Everybody Else. He believes that performance is shaped by teachers and practice, not innate talent. “A growing body of scientific research shows that it isn’t so – that specific natural abilities don’t explain great performance.” You’ll have to read the book to know exactly what the “deliberate” practice is that helps people succeed in their endeavors (it requires feedback), but the point is that there is hope for us all that we can be trained to be better at anything. Of course, you know that.

Most of us will never be perfectly great writers, but we can be good enough – certainly good enough to write our own life stories for family. And if we’re worried, we can hire an editor. Or bake some cookies for your (grand)child’s English teacher in exchange for their advice. If you’re really bad at writing, then anyone can help you!

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National Lifewriting Month: the staying power of memoirs

November is National Lifewriting Month. Have you started your memoir yet? Memoirs have been hitting the charts for many years now and readers have not show signs of exhaustion. Library Journal recently noted that “publishers are putting a fair amount of push behind memoirs for winter and spring 2010,” which will include the following interestingly titled books:

The Ticking is the Bomb by Nick Flynn
The Boy Who Loved Tornados: A Mother’s Story by Randi Davenport
You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up: A Love Story by A. Gurwitch and J. Kahn
The Shaking Woman: Or, A History of My Nerves by Siri Hustvedt
Why My Third Husband Will Be a Dog by Lisa Scottoline

In a Philadelphia Inquirer article entitled Celebrating the Memoir, Dianna Marder construes that “The emphasis on memoir is so strong that autobiography, history and fiction may be endangered. And the reasons for memoir’s popularity may rest in our very nature as Americans: In a land where the majority rules, individuality is exalted and memoir is more befitting the American ideal of resourcefulness.”

Indeed, memoirs are much more fascinating than nonfiction history books since a personal perspective is involved. Who doesn’t love a good story of how it really was versus a bunch of dry facts. Autobiographies tend to suffer the same fate of dry regurgitation, while fiction…well, Ben Yagoda, author of Memoir: A History says “When it comes to proving points and making cases, fiction’s day is done.” Mary Karr, whose publisher claims she “kick-started the memoir revolution” with The Liar’s Club (1995), has this to say: “The failures of other genres to provide an emotional connection with some of their characters and narratives gives memoir a toehold.” Comparing bad memoirs to bad novels, “But the most whiny memoir is written by someone passionately attached to his or her subject matter. And the connectedness of that single voice is something readers long for now.” Karr, also wrote the memoirs Cherry and the recently published Lit.

Everyone has a story to tell. Not all are meant to be published, but all are meant to be told.

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