Memories – Help Your Job Search

Our local newspaper carried an interesting article by Tim McGuire, syndicated columnist, who interviewed Cliff Hakim, author of “We Are All Self-Employed: How to Take Control of Your Own Career.” Mr. Hakim has a consulting business, Rethinking Work, which helps others determine the kind of work that is important and meaningful to them. He feels life is too short to waste it doing work that is unfulfilling. Mr. Hakim believes that people should look into their past, to think about their own stories, in order to understand what is important to them and what gives them joy. By finding a job that meshes with what is meaningful to you, then you will find happiness and be able to add value in your own way to the world.

A tip at the end of the article states that reflecting on ordinary memories and childhood stories will help you realize “important things about who you are now.” So, perhaps our reminiscing is not just making a happy familiar playground for our minds or, in the case of unhappy pasts, a way of inflicting further pain on our psyches, but rather a way to really look at ourselves and learn lessons from our history that will help us lead more fulfilled and complete lives now… an interesting thought for the day.

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Time Out

The paragraph below was recently printed in “The New York Times,” part of a piece by Anne Marie Feld that was adapted from her book “Mommy Wars: Stay-At-Home and Career Moms Face Off on Their Choices, Their Lives, Their Families,” due out this March. Sounds like a very interesting book. This paragraph really struck me – as I strive for order and cleanliness in my home, it reminds me of the importance of taking time out, spending quality time with my family, because the good memories are the fun and joys of togetherness, not how clean the house was…

“In her insistence upon getting things done, on living an ordered life, my mother managed to miss out on the nourishing aspects of family life and life in general: laughing at silly things, lying spooned on the couch with your beloveds, sharing good food, the tactile delight of giggling children crawling all over you. Without this, family life is an endless series of menial tasks: counters and noses to wipe, dishes and bodies to wash, whites and colors to fold, again and again in soul-sucking succession.”

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Family Memory Books

A fairly easy way to record family history is to buy one of the many memory books available. These books have pages with questions to prompt memories and stories that can then be written directly into the book. You can find a “top ten” list of these family journaling books on genealogy.about.com. I suggest you do a search in Amazon.com for the books in that top-ten list because there you will find reviews from people who have actually used those books. “To Our Children’s Children,” the original version, or the second “To Our Children’s Children: Journal of Family Memories,” by Bob Greene, have received consistently good reviews. “Your Story: A Guided Interview Through Your Personal and Family History,” by Gift to the Future 2000, has also been rated well.

There are a few drawbacks to these books. One complaint of many journaling books is that there isn’t always enough room to write. Another complaint is that the books don’t really allow for deviation from the traditional – what about a second or third marriage, or single-parent household, or a childhood in another country. Some books seem to have way too many questions, or perhaps there are too many questions that bring up bad memories best left unwritten.

Many people have loved these journaling memory books, though. They can make a great gift for new grandparents. Review the selection of books carefully before buying so you will be happy with the format and questions. If you cannot find a book that is right for your family, perhaps you would prefer to just look over the questions to get ideas of what to ask your relative (or yourself). You can then write whatever you want in your own memory album or booklet – more on that later.

These books should not be viewed as a chore, but rather a pleasant pastime to be completed bit-by-bit throughout a year or more. There is no need to follow any order of questions or need to answer everything. Have fun and enjoy the flood of memories. Good or bad, memories are what have shaped us and in turn have helped shape our children.

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