The 2011 bad first line contest winners and your memoir

The Bulwer-Litton Fiction Contest winners for 2011 have been chosen, and the grand prize inflictor’s entry is rather disgusting. There was no memoir category (what!?), but the winner’s entry will do. This contest picks the worst first line of a (fake) novel submitted, as follows:

“Cheryl’s mind turned like the vanes of a wind-powered turbine, chopping her sparrow-like thoughts into bloody pieces that fell onto a growing pile of forgotten memories.” – Sue Fondrie

I hope you can tell this is bad. Bad, ugly metaphor reminds me of the movie Fargo. It’s good to use metaphor (and simile) in your lifewriting, but not ones about sparrows getting chopped up, unless it is a horror memoir. What makes the Bulwer-Litton contest ironic is that the first sentence of any book is supposed to be catching, to lure the reader into going further. And these winning lines certainly are catching, just in the wrong way. After you have written a few drafts of a short lifestory or memoir, take a look at the beginning paragraph. Can you rewrite or tweak it or even start out the book differently to hint at what is coming later in the story so readers are intrigued and want to continue? In my mother’s WWII Japan memoir, Cherry Blossoms in Twilight, I put the intrigue at the end of the first paragraph describing a peaceful view from the house: “I could not imagine then how this peace would be broken.”

Here are a few other first lines or last lines of first paragraphs of memoirs that I liked:

“I guess the reason I am still here today to tell my story is because I come from a long line of survivors” (Laughter Wasn’t Rationed by Dorothea von Schwanenflugel Lawson)

“I left the South so long ago, never to return, never looking back to allow yesterday to flood on in.” (Suitcase Full of Dreams by Hoy Kersh)

“To those who are still with me, I can only say one thing: thank God for the foolhardy.” (Hippie From Iowa by Michael Sieleman)

“This is the one thing that stays the same: my husband got hurt.” (A Three Dog Life by Abigail Thomas)

Now, it is not absolutely necessary to have a snappy one-line in the beginning. Rick Skwiot in his memoir, San Miguel de Allende, Mexico starts with him snapping his ankle during a basketball game. Mary Karr starts out The Liars’ Club with a doctor examining her seven-year-old self after a rape. Other authors start out by telling a short story told to them by their mother, launching into a description of another time and place, or introducing an interesting character in an interesting way – here’s Elie Wiesel’s Night :

“They called him Moishe the Beadle, as if his entire life he never had a surname.”

Wiesel goes on to tell how Moishe is different from the other Jews and how Wiesel met this significant teacher in his life.

The writing of a good first paragraph can be stressful, but don’t sweat it. If it doesn’t come to you early, save it for last, after you get an idea of what the whole book will be about. Play around with it, dream about it, read other memoir beginnings, run drafts by your family and friends. As usual, if you are writing for your family it is not as important, but if writing for publication, that’s a different story.

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Karen Walker’s Do’s and Don’ts of Memoir Writing

Karen Walker, author of Following the Whispers, a memoir of healing, has just finished a blog tour and posted some great advice for memoir writers. Do’s and Don’ts of Memoir Writing offers seven tips for those who think they will have a memoir that’s sellable to the general public, although anyone, whether writing for family or public, can learn something from this post, with special attention to #6. Another good post of Karen’s to read for inspiration if your past is not so pleasant is The Liberating Effects of Writing Memoir.

Speaking of unpleasant pasts, this week I’ll start reading Boyd Lemon’s Digging Deep: A Writer Uncovers His Marriages, a memoir of one man’s bravery in digging deep to discover how his three marriages failed and the part he played in that. It can’t be easy to look at your own life objectively, not to mention that of ex-spouses!

Linda Austin
“Cherry Blossoms in Twilight”
http://www.moonbridgebooks.com

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Hippie from Iowa – Michael Sieleman Interview Part II

We’re back with Michael Sieleman, author of Hippie from Iowa, the laugh-out-loud, irreverent story of his early life and hitchhiking travels across Europe in the early ’70s as a 19-year-old. It is currently 92 degrees, feels like 98, here in St. Louis, so we’re not going to sit out on the porch with Michael as he continues to shoot the breeze with us on the writing of his book. But you’re welcome to drink your beer (or lemonade).

You have a great talent for telling funny stories – and you have an amazing lot of them! Do you have some sort of karma that attracts these odd situations?

You have a great talent for asking funny questions. Karma? Maybe, but if so I must have been a real bastard in my past life. This life does seem to be one long adventure of odd situations, but they’ve been as tragic as they have been comic. I bristle a bit when Hippie from Iowa is referred to as a memoir, because though the experiences are all true, I selected primarily the comic as the backbone of the book. And, of course, it’s told from my perspective with a definite purpose. With this kind of bias, this really makes it a story–one that just happens to be comprised of true events. If I were to write a memoir, it would probably be called something like Normal Guy in a Bi-Polar Life, and it would be a terrible bore.

Were you born with this ability and are you a funny guy in your everyday conversations?

I think I did inherit an ability to be funny in my everyday conversations from my father, but I’m also very serious about life and view it differently than most people. This means I can be funny and intense almost simultaneously, sometimes to the confusion of even my best friends. Life is a serious business, but one does need to lighten up, have some fun, take a cosmic breath, and then look again to gain a more equitable perspective.

Can you tell us the process you went through to figure out how to write this memoir? Overall it follows a chronological path, but it does bounce back and forth from one time period to another. You also talk directly to your readers in a chatty manner, which is an unusual, and hence brave, tactic.

Memoir? Memoir! Damn you, it’s a STORY! However, I’ll forgive you since you make up for it by saying my chatty manner is a brave tactic. Yet, while I appreciate your compliment, it’s undeserved. It was not a preconceived tactic at all. As I said earlier, I write by the seat of the pants. I literally sat down to the computer to write the book with an idea of the voice, events, and the end to which they were directed—vaguely. I had no idea what the first sentence was going to be, but what came out was: “The substance of this writing is, I swear, all true, but I’ll warn you right now, dear reader, this thing will meander and digress all over the place. Therein, I hope, will lay it’s charm.” There was no process, no decisions on how things were to be played out, no tactics to be followed. I had a rough idea of a story and I started writing. I look back on it now and am amazed at how clearly the first sentence and the first paragraph do in fact capture the essence of the story that came to be, because I had no idea how the story would really turn out. As I write, I do pay attention to where the story is going. I did see that I was speaking directly to the reader, and bouncing around on a timeline. I let those things develop while trying to steer them in a coherent way. I don’t understand how art works, but art is not a science. You have to let it develop. If you can write, remain true to the story as it unfolds, love your narrator, your characters and your readers, you have a chance of having a hand at helping create honest art. How it works is beyond my understanding.

In the book you include bits on how you write. Now that your book has been published, do you have any advice for newbie authors?

This is a very hard question for me to answer, because I’ve spent a lifetime of dodging advice on how to write. I guess you have to figure out what kind of writer you want to be and what you want to accomplish with your writing. If you want to be a genre writer and sell a lot of books, then my advice is to read your genre of books incessantly, take writing classes, try to absorb as much as possible from those that have gone before you, look at what’s selling, and take the advice of people who are successful in your chosen genre. With luck, maybe you’ll sell some books. If you’re out to write literature/art, I have no advice to give you. By definition, you’re out to be creative, and that can’t be taught. You’ll have to find your own road (or fall into it) just like Dostoyevsky, Harper Lee, or Faulkner did. To succeed, you’ll need an endurable work ethic, nearly unbearable patience, and extraordinary luck. You’ll need to do this accepting the fact that you will most likely not succeed, and that means not pinning your identity to success. Do what you can, and hope lightning strikes.

Thank you, Michael, you’ve been great fun to talk to, and it was a lot of fun to read your story. Best wishes on the success of your book. Anyone wishing to know more about Michael can visit his website at Guardian Stone Publishing. You can also read my complete review of Hippie from Iowaby clicking on the Amazon book link in this post.

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