My Mother’s Days have been spent making sure my own mother was happy. Usually that made me happy, too, but really it was all about her. This time, I’m the only mom in the immediate picture, and I’m not ready to embrace that yet. I do, however, feel a bond with lots of other daughters out there who have lost their mothers. Facebook has been full of beautiful sayings about moms in heaven but also in our hearts, and I’m taking comfort in those. Postings show no matter how long ago they lost their mothers, daughters still miss them very much. What is it about that daughter-to-mother relationship that seems to have an intensity stronger than that of son-to-mother? All those X chromosomes make a tangled web.
My relationship with my mother was not an easy one. That she was born and raised in a different country added to the generation gap. While working on Cherry Blossoms in Twilight, I cried to learn some of the reasons she behaved as she did—our past experiences reflect who we grow to be, and I didn’t understand her at all until I discovered those experiences. How I wished I had known sooner. That didn’t make things easier for me, but I learned to better accept what would never change. Despite our difficulties, I loved her for what she could be, and was honored to care for her through the end of her Alzheimer’s. She loved me the best she knew how. And I loved her the best I knew how.
Happy Mother’s Day to all who love as mothers.