Family Vacation in Paradise

Posted on March 12, 2007 by moonbridgebooks

Our family recently returned from a trip to the Bahamas, compliments of the Dad’s business trip. The rest of us just couldn’t help but follow him to Paradise Island. While I won’t say it was relaxing for me as I followed my youngest daughter around the water park every day at the resort or accompanied my teenager on shopping excursions, it was wonderful to spend a lot of time with the girls. I had been very busy before we left and my little girl was feeling neglected so she really enjoyed my nearly undivided attention for the week. It was great to spend time with my usually on-the-go teenager, too (she even got me to go down a couple big water slides with her). While my husband was either working or golfing, us girls had a lot of fun together. We came home tan and tired!

Vacations can actually be a lot of extra work for mothers who in general not only have to prepare job, house and pets for leaving, pack for most of the family, still take care of the kids and, once home again, wash piles of laundry. But, the time spent away from everyday chores allows us to focus almost solely on our family members and get to really know them again as we play together, laugh together, talk together, and perhaps see and learn new things together. What a great escape that enables us to share feelings and experiences, making memories all together.

PS: No, we did not go to Anna Nicole’s funeral even though it was nearby and a certain teenager was not happy about missing it.

Linda Austin
“Cherry Blossoms in Twilight”
http://www.moonbridgebooks.com
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Bad Memories – Part II

Posted on February 11, 2007 by moonbridgebooks

Some people have nightmares that are permanently locked away in a closet in their mind. You have to respect the fact that they are unable to open the door – just leave those times alone. That is the way they survive terrible horrors of their past. They might, however, be willing to recall normal times, or the good times before or after the bad memories. You can ask what their parents or grandparents or siblings were like, where they lived, type of clothes they wore or food they ate, songs they remember.

It is possible for monsters to be killed or at least shrunk to a manageable size by opening the door to shine a light on them. A burden can also be lifted by sharing it with others who can offer support and help find healthy ways to cope. Anger may be dissipated, fear may be overcome, shame may be overwhelmed by love and understanding.

Many of us have hurtful memories in our past. We carry those memories within and they are part of who we have become. If we aim at keeping a strong positive attitude, we can look those memories in the face and go beyond them. I like to remind my mother not to dwell on the “spilled milk” of yesterday and instead look at each day anew. In the end, all our memories and the feelings they bring out have shaped us and in turn can shape our children. By speaking the memories out loud, we let our families understand us and each other better and encourage deeper bonding as we share our lives and our hearts.

How I wish I had known about some of my mother’s bad experiences earlier – so I would have been able to understand her better and been more compassionate.

Linda Austin
“Cherry Blossoms in Twilight”
http://www.moonbridgebooks.com
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Bad Memories – Part I

Posted on February 2, 2007 by moonbridgebooks

One day I was talking with someone who dearly wished to know her grandmother’s stories but said that her Chinese grandmother had unspeakable memories of her youth during WWII. The grandmother therefore refused to talk about any of her childhood memories at all. This is a sensitive issue worth its own discussion topic.

After thinking about this young woman’s dilemma for awhile, I decided to incorporate my answer into presentations I give about writing memoirs. My own mother’s youth was not without emotional pain, and the story of the end of her marriage is something I prefer not to remind her of as all the anger comes burning to the surface – yet these hurts are written about in our Cherry Blossoms in Twilight book. How did I get these stories?

My mother is quite open about her pain. She does not choose to hide the unpleasant parts of her life. Still, I had to be careful when asking about certain subjects because it is so easy for her to begin to dwell on the anger or sadness. I would ask a few questions or discuss one aspect of a story and then move on to something light-hearted or happy. I would never ask about something painful late in the day because the mind likes to rehash events during the night. Sometimes I wrote sections by myself because I already knew certain unhappy parts of her life – I was there. So, treading very carefully and considerately into someone’s river of pain is one way of drawing out important stories… feeling the current of the person’s thoughts and never going so deep that they begin to drown. It is all about what THEY are ready to say.

Linda Austin
“Cherry Blossoms in Twilight”
http://www.moonbridgebooks.com
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